Great Truths For Adults And Children

The People's Climate March in New York on Sept. 21

The following are great truths that adults have learned:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2. Wrinkles don’t hurt.

3. Families are like fudge. Mostly sweet – with a few nuts.

4. Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.

5. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the joy.

6. Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut.

Great truths that children have learned:

1. No matter how hard you try, you cannot baptize cats.

2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

3. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4. Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

5. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

6. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10. The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.