Wish I Had Said That

In going over the notes that I’ve saved over time, I’ve found the following that I thought I would share with you.

It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.

We have enough “youth.” How about a fountain of “smart.”

A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

Money isn’t everything. But it sure keeps the kids in touch.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto: At least we’re not Mississippi.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.

I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know like NASCAR drivers, so that we could identify their corporate sponsors.

The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.

Beau Weisman, Editor